The minutes I have before meeting a friend for dinner tonight allow me to bask in the late afternoon sun streaming through my office windows (gosh, I love it!) ... and time to finally update my blog.
I haven't picked up a pen since my medical tests began three weeks ago. A laser focus - that is what was needed. As almost all of you know by now, the tests are coming back clean and reflecting no signs of cancer. A true miracle since I was referred for surgery/radiation in November. Apparently, it is a false positive situation created by my unique antibodies. Unbelievable! We await one more test from a specialized lab - then we will know for certain.
Celebration is a funny thing - it means more of a sigh of relief than "pop a cork" when the journey has been long (9 mos. in this case) and life contniues to seem so unpredictable and unbelievable at times. Holding one's breath seems more appropriate.
I am learning that each day (even a random Wed night) should bring moments of celebration. Pop a cork - we are alive and breathing.
I have been reading a lot of Alexandra Stoddard lately www.alexandrastoddard.com. After 10 years of reading her, she is the amazing combination of philosopher, nationally recognized interior designer, and lifestyle specialist. I dream of having the opportunity to spend my days writing like she does (although I don't envision I will ever be as "flowery" / "Kum-by-ah" as she is. At least I hope not but some of you may beg to differ! :) )
She made a suggestion in her recent book "You Are Your Choices" that I have followed through and done. Remember back to when you were very little - get a picture of that time - for that is who you really are...Truly you.
In my organization of late December, I unearthed the attached picture of me and have framed it in a silver frame where I can see it often. July 6, 1975, my 3rd birthday - as the card in my hand proudly displays. This picture is everything I love about life beyond the people I love. The outdoors - I had just been for a walk with my grandfather (they were building a house next to ours in the country - traces are seen in the background); the love and care for people and animals that cannot help themselves - in this case my father's treasured hunting dog Greta, a German Shepherd Wired-haired Pointer; and beautiful things - like my dress with the ribbons and lace. And - I still squint my right eye when the light is bright - some things never change no matter what life does! :) Ah, those things are the beauty of life!
My family is finally taking a pilgrimage to Ellis Island next weekend. Three days in NYC with a lot of memories of Grandpa in-between. I'm sure there will be tears (I know, big shocker for those of you that know me well!) and missing him. We purchased a brick with grandpa's name for the memorial wall and will finally see the images from the pages of grandpa's memoires reflected back in real life as we touch the wood and stone of the buildings. Watch my blog for writings/pictures -- and of course, what is a trip to NYC in mid-February without taking in the Westminister Dog Show??
